Contentment in Christ
Seeking to find His will
Philippians 4:11
As I woke up this morning, it took me a little while to gather my wits about myself. Many would say that I do not have many wits about me, and at times I would agree with them. When I finally got myself going I realized it was my birthday. First I thanked God for allowing me to have another good night’s rest, and I thanked Him also for allowing me to wake up to spend another day to try to do HIS will in my life.
I have had time to ponder on the forty eight years of my life today. I have to wonder if I’m as content as I need to be. Paul wrote, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” (Phil 4:11 KJV). I know that I’ve not always allowed contentment to override my wants. I have desires, or wants, that do not seem to be available.
Today, I heard on the radio about a girl who started off on the wrong foot as a teenager and allowed God to bring her to where she is today. During the trying times of her life she was molded by God and she allowed Him to direct her path into a better life. She allowed the mistakes of her past to be used, by God, to make her content to be the person she is in the present. I can say that if we allow God to mold us the way He wants too, HE will put us in a place that will honor and glorify HIM.
As I look on my life, I can remember some of the horrible mistakes that I have made. There is not enough time or space to cover them all. I know that probably one of the biggest mistakes I made was not listening to my mother when she tried to lead me. At times, I wonder how my life would have changed had I really listened to her. Maybe some of my heartaches would not have occurred had I listened early in my adult life for sure. Even with all those mistakes, I have many great things that happened in my life too. I have a loving wife, whom I love very much, three great sons, mistakes to the side, and most importantly I know Jesus as my personal Savior. I met HIM on October 3, 1982 and I answered the call to preach in 1999. Even though I’ve never considered myself a good speaker, I love sharing HIS WORD with people. I thank God He called me to the ministry, and look forward to the next work HE has for me, should HE have one.
With all the positives and negatives in my life I realized that God has been molding me into what HE desires for me to be and I know HE is not finished. I can’t say that I’ve always gone in the direction He wants me too, but I can say that HE is always there to keep me on track. I can’t say I’ve always been a good husband, father, or person either. However, I can say that God has forgiven me for things I’ve done wrong, because I asked Him too.
I can recall when the only church I’ve ever pastored called me. I was so excited about the opportunity and I can honestly say that the people there showed their love toward me and my family. I can remember preaching at that church, and looking back, I can see a bunch of mistake that I made in my short time there. I cannot say I was a good pastor either. However, I can say I had a desire to be one. I had a desire to be friends with all them members and they treated me like family. I still feel that I failed miserably in areas that I could have been better in. However, it wasn’t about me being a pastor. It was about me making myself available to be used of God. God used me as a tool to convey HIS thoughts and we saw several saved during the time I was there. The first 2 ½ years, I did make myself available to HIM, but the last year of my pastorate brought me much discouragement. I’ve come to believe it was mainly because I allowed myself to loose focus on my calling. I became so discouraged that I didn’t know what to do. I prayed a lot, but I saw things happening in the church that I didn’t like, which caused me to be discontent. Therefore, I grew even more discouraged. People were leaving after we had a small growth spurt, many telling me that it wasn’t me, and some who were faithful just dropping out all together. They said that they just wanted to do something else, and unfortunately I still took it personal and allowed it to discourage me. I started feeling that I was not liked anymore and I became lonely. I allowed that to cause me to loose focus and I got in the way of God doing a great work. Some of them had grown discontent just as their pastor had. I believe it is because we all stopped praying as we needed too. As any pastor does, I wanted that church to be in better shape than what it was when I arrived, should I have to leave, and I can’t say it was.
When I accepted the church, I had no plans of ever leaving. I was very happy and satisfied, and I was there until Jesus came, but things change. I lost my wife and I needed a wife who would support me and minister with me, but that was no longer there either. I needed people to pray with and for me, and there didn't seem to be anyone available. I had lost control of something I should have never tried to control in the first place. After all, it is not about me. I grew even more discouraged. Discontentment leads to discouragement.
I left the church that August and felt like I had done the Lord such a poor job as a pastor that HE would never use me again. I will say that I loved the members of that church with a deep convicting love, and even after leaving those members are still on my heart and mind. Not long after I arrived back home, I saw my current pastor. He invited me to church, but I really didn’t have a desire to go anywhere. Some of the other pastors didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. However, he encouraged me and prayed with me and I finally gave into going on a Sunday morning. As I listened to this man preach it was like I was totally by myself. I had no family with me and I didn’t feel like I had a friend in the world. After all, I failed the only true friend I’ve ever known, Jesus. I had met the woman I would eventually marry, but I still didn’t feel like I was loved by anyone, and I sure didn’t feel of any use any longer. After services, the pastor came up to me and said, “Come back tonight and preach for us.” I told him, “I don’t know about that,” as I thought God doesn’t want me behind a pulpit anymore. I went to church that night dressed in jeans and a golf shirt, not planning on preaching, but just to try to get a hint of the vigor I had for Christ again. The pastor asked me, “Are you ready to preach?” I said, “I guess, but you don’t have to let me,” hoping that he would say okay, I’ll preach tonight, because I didn’t really feel like it. I felt like I didn’t want to make another fool of myself and that’s exactly what I felt like I was going to do behind a pulpit. I felt that if God really wanted me behind a pulpit I would have stayed at my church. What a horrible thought! God will use a willing heart. He was showing me something.
God put me in the church I’m in now for a reason, and I’m very thankful for my church family. When I first started going there, I was still very discouraged. I didn’t want to be in a church setting. I kept blaming myself for doing God an injustice behind the pulpit and the duty HE gave me. I have thought and prayed, ‘God give me one more chance to prove to you that I can do a better job, and I will give it my best,” but my prayers haven’t been answered in that direction yet, and I’m not guaranteed they will be. I was still discontent. I can only hope that the members of the church, which allowed me to be their pastor for 3 ½ years can find the love in their heart to forgive me for not being the great pastor for Christ that I needed to be. I am like any human, I could say that the reason I failed is not totally my fault, because I didn’t feel like I had the support that I needed and desired, but that would be passing the blame. That could be part of the problem, but as I look back, I see that the real problem was me. I was not content to allowing God to use me in a miserable situation as HE had in better situations; again, discontentment brings discouragement.
I have a great class that I wished was larger at times, and there are people who really love God in it. It’s a ministry for me, and I can only hope that God is using me in a way that will honor and glorify HIM. Periodically I’m asked to preach there and I love trying to do just that. I still have a deep desire to pastor another one of the Lord's churches, but for now I must learn to be content where God has me. Maybe this is the lesson I needed to learn.
I’ve said all this to state the conclusion I have come too. If we really desire to work for God the opportunities are out there. We make the decision to take those opportunities or let them pass by. When God opens doors, be ready to go through them. My prayer for this next year of my life, should God allow me that time, is that God will show me the opportunity and give me the faith to walk through those doors that HE does open. And on top of all that, I pray that HE will help me be content in whatsoever I do. Contentment in Christ is a desire that Christ has for us all.
Seeking to find His will
Philippians 4:11
As I woke up this morning, it took me a little while to gather my wits about myself. Many would say that I do not have many wits about me, and at times I would agree with them. When I finally got myself going I realized it was my birthday. First I thanked God for allowing me to have another good night’s rest, and I thanked Him also for allowing me to wake up to spend another day to try to do HIS will in my life.
I have had time to ponder on the forty eight years of my life today. I have to wonder if I’m as content as I need to be. Paul wrote, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content,” (Phil 4:11 KJV). I know that I’ve not always allowed contentment to override my wants. I have desires, or wants, that do not seem to be available.
Today, I heard on the radio about a girl who started off on the wrong foot as a teenager and allowed God to bring her to where she is today. During the trying times of her life she was molded by God and she allowed Him to direct her path into a better life. She allowed the mistakes of her past to be used, by God, to make her content to be the person she is in the present. I can say that if we allow God to mold us the way He wants too, HE will put us in a place that will honor and glorify HIM.
As I look on my life, I can remember some of the horrible mistakes that I have made. There is not enough time or space to cover them all. I know that probably one of the biggest mistakes I made was not listening to my mother when she tried to lead me. At times, I wonder how my life would have changed had I really listened to her. Maybe some of my heartaches would not have occurred had I listened early in my adult life for sure. Even with all those mistakes, I have many great things that happened in my life too. I have a loving wife, whom I love very much, three great sons, mistakes to the side, and most importantly I know Jesus as my personal Savior. I met HIM on October 3, 1982 and I answered the call to preach in 1999. Even though I’ve never considered myself a good speaker, I love sharing HIS WORD with people. I thank God He called me to the ministry, and look forward to the next work HE has for me, should HE have one.
With all the positives and negatives in my life I realized that God has been molding me into what HE desires for me to be and I know HE is not finished. I can’t say that I’ve always gone in the direction He wants me too, but I can say that HE is always there to keep me on track. I can’t say I’ve always been a good husband, father, or person either. However, I can say that God has forgiven me for things I’ve done wrong, because I asked Him too.
I can recall when the only church I’ve ever pastored called me. I was so excited about the opportunity and I can honestly say that the people there showed their love toward me and my family. I can remember preaching at that church, and looking back, I can see a bunch of mistake that I made in my short time there. I cannot say I was a good pastor either. However, I can say I had a desire to be one. I had a desire to be friends with all them members and they treated me like family. I still feel that I failed miserably in areas that I could have been better in. However, it wasn’t about me being a pastor. It was about me making myself available to be used of God. God used me as a tool to convey HIS thoughts and we saw several saved during the time I was there. The first 2 ½ years, I did make myself available to HIM, but the last year of my pastorate brought me much discouragement. I’ve come to believe it was mainly because I allowed myself to loose focus on my calling. I became so discouraged that I didn’t know what to do. I prayed a lot, but I saw things happening in the church that I didn’t like, which caused me to be discontent. Therefore, I grew even more discouraged. People were leaving after we had a small growth spurt, many telling me that it wasn’t me, and some who were faithful just dropping out all together. They said that they just wanted to do something else, and unfortunately I still took it personal and allowed it to discourage me. I started feeling that I was not liked anymore and I became lonely. I allowed that to cause me to loose focus and I got in the way of God doing a great work. Some of them had grown discontent just as their pastor had. I believe it is because we all stopped praying as we needed too. As any pastor does, I wanted that church to be in better shape than what it was when I arrived, should I have to leave, and I can’t say it was.
When I accepted the church, I had no plans of ever leaving. I was very happy and satisfied, and I was there until Jesus came, but things change. I lost my wife and I needed a wife who would support me and minister with me, but that was no longer there either. I needed people to pray with and for me, and there didn't seem to be anyone available. I had lost control of something I should have never tried to control in the first place. After all, it is not about me. I grew even more discouraged. Discontentment leads to discouragement.
I left the church that August and felt like I had done the Lord such a poor job as a pastor that HE would never use me again. I will say that I loved the members of that church with a deep convicting love, and even after leaving those members are still on my heart and mind. Not long after I arrived back home, I saw my current pastor. He invited me to church, but I really didn’t have a desire to go anywhere. Some of the other pastors didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. However, he encouraged me and prayed with me and I finally gave into going on a Sunday morning. As I listened to this man preach it was like I was totally by myself. I had no family with me and I didn’t feel like I had a friend in the world. After all, I failed the only true friend I’ve ever known, Jesus. I had met the woman I would eventually marry, but I still didn’t feel like I was loved by anyone, and I sure didn’t feel of any use any longer. After services, the pastor came up to me and said, “Come back tonight and preach for us.” I told him, “I don’t know about that,” as I thought God doesn’t want me behind a pulpit anymore. I went to church that night dressed in jeans and a golf shirt, not planning on preaching, but just to try to get a hint of the vigor I had for Christ again. The pastor asked me, “Are you ready to preach?” I said, “I guess, but you don’t have to let me,” hoping that he would say okay, I’ll preach tonight, because I didn’t really feel like it. I felt like I didn’t want to make another fool of myself and that’s exactly what I felt like I was going to do behind a pulpit. I felt that if God really wanted me behind a pulpit I would have stayed at my church. What a horrible thought! God will use a willing heart. He was showing me something.
God put me in the church I’m in now for a reason, and I’m very thankful for my church family. When I first started going there, I was still very discouraged. I didn’t want to be in a church setting. I kept blaming myself for doing God an injustice behind the pulpit and the duty HE gave me. I have thought and prayed, ‘God give me one more chance to prove to you that I can do a better job, and I will give it my best,” but my prayers haven’t been answered in that direction yet, and I’m not guaranteed they will be. I was still discontent. I can only hope that the members of the church, which allowed me to be their pastor for 3 ½ years can find the love in their heart to forgive me for not being the great pastor for Christ that I needed to be. I am like any human, I could say that the reason I failed is not totally my fault, because I didn’t feel like I had the support that I needed and desired, but that would be passing the blame. That could be part of the problem, but as I look back, I see that the real problem was me. I was not content to allowing God to use me in a miserable situation as HE had in better situations; again, discontentment brings discouragement.
I have a great class that I wished was larger at times, and there are people who really love God in it. It’s a ministry for me, and I can only hope that God is using me in a way that will honor and glorify HIM. Periodically I’m asked to preach there and I love trying to do just that. I still have a deep desire to pastor another one of the Lord's churches, but for now I must learn to be content where God has me. Maybe this is the lesson I needed to learn.
I’ve said all this to state the conclusion I have come too. If we really desire to work for God the opportunities are out there. We make the decision to take those opportunities or let them pass by. When God opens doors, be ready to go through them. My prayer for this next year of my life, should God allow me that time, is that God will show me the opportunity and give me the faith to walk through those doors that HE does open. And on top of all that, I pray that HE will help me be content in whatsoever I do. Contentment in Christ is a desire that Christ has for us all.
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